3 Tips to find (Self) Love
How to love yourself unconditionally
This month I feel inspired to talk to you about Love! It’s such a simple emotion and yet through our thinking, conditioning, and beliefs we make it very complicated! So, this month I wanted to send my open-hearted unconditional love to you all and hope that the information that I’ve shared in this Blog will guide you to find ways to feel more loved and supported.
The inspiration for this has come from reading Pauline Rohdich’s wonderful book called Just Trust. It struck me that very few of us are taught to love ourselves unconditionally and so we understandably look for that love and validation outside of ourselves. That’s when things can start to go a little pear shaped! So read on and discover what self-love really means to you and what you can do to bring this wonderful feeling into your world.
What is Love?
Very rarely do we think of it in respect of ourselves. We tend to think of it as something that we give to others and hope that we might receive it in return. The challenge with this approach is that it drains our energy. Through continually giving to others, and anticipating whether they will reciprocate or not, we continually deplete our 'feel good' energy. When the love is reciprocated, is it as we wanted or expected it to be? Are we the victims of our own conditioning and expectations?
If we can learn to love ourselves more deeply, then we can become more open hearted and less conditional in the way we give and receive our love.
But how to start?
I love you
Three simple words that you can say to yourself every day. It might seem silly, egotistical or embarrassing at first. But the more that you say it, the more you believe it. The mind believes whatever you think about. It then creates the emotions to reflect your thinking. Imagine the difference in how you would feel if every day you told yourself ‘I love you’!
Dismiss any negative thoughts that arise (usually telling you, you are not good enough, or listing all your perceived faults). When you truly love someone, you accept them for who and what they are. So why wouldn’t you do that for yourself?
I care for you
What makes you happy? What brings a smile to your face, or lifts your heart or makes your body relax in a carefree way? Whatever the answers are, you need to do more of it!
If you love yourself, you will do what is needed to ensure that you are cared for in the right way. Can you identify one thing you could do each week to care for yourself? Imagine the joy and how loved you will feel if you are doing this just for you.
What difference would that make to you as a person? How would others around you benefit?
We are not all meant to be the same
What I need to feel loved and cared for will be different to you. What replenishes me may not be the same for you. So be clear in what you need to be able to love and care for yourself. Make a list of the actions you want to take, plan them into your weekly schedule and see how much better you feel as you start to implement them.
Benefits of Self Love
Love is one of the most precious emotions that we get to experience. It can fill our hearts and minds and transport us to a place of openness, abundance, and euphoria. In experiencing this emotion, we naturally want to share it with others, and so everyone benefits from this wonderful emotion.
The trick is to ensure that we balance the amount of love we bestow on others with the amount of love we create for ourselves internally. In this way, we grow stronger, more confident, and self-assured. We know that we are truly loved from within and so any additional love from others will bring even greater joy.
Knowing that we love ourselves creates a ‘glow’ about us that others find attractive. So, in loving ourselves more fully, we actually draw to us, the unconditional love that we are seeking from others.
Start today, just say to yourself ‘I love you’ and see what a difference it can make.
If you have any questions or would like to experience how life coaching can support you in improving your levels of self- love, confidence and self-esteem, please get in touch using the FREE taster button above or email me ali@aliarmishaw.co.uk.
With much love to you. xx
