15 Ways To Deal With Overwhelm
What is overwhelm?
Overwhelm is the feeling that the current situation is too much for you to bear. You could feel powerless or swamped, with no obvious way out, and thoughts such as ‘I can’t cope’, ‘it’s all too much’ and ‘I can’t do this’ are playing on repeat.
It’s quite a common feeling, especially as there is an expectation nowadays to ‘be/do/have it all’.
But there are ways to deal with overwhelm and regain a sense of calm. This blog shares some tips to help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed and struggling to deal with everyday life.
Why do we feel overwhelm?
There are two main reasons that you could feel overwhelmed:
Too much on your plate
A never-ending to-do list, with people to please and a multitude of tasks added by the minute.
This kind of overwhelm is usually quite sneaky: you don't know you're getting overwhelmed until you feel like you 've lost control.
An experience
The sudden loss of a loved one or drastic change in circumstances can also leave you feeling overwhelmed. This can be quite debilitating and leave you feeling lost.
How do you know you're suffering from overwhelm?
Some common symptoms of overwhelm are:
- Trouble sleeping. You mind is racing, and even if you do sleep you feel exhausted with little energy to face the day.
- Reacting out of character with anger and irritability to things that would normally not phase you: you don't have enough headspace to objectively assess the situation.
- Feeling withdrawn from either people or activities. Withdrawing into yourself can feel safer than being around others or attending events that you would normally enjoy.
- Lack of concentration and focus and general unproductiveness. This is especially obvious at work where there can be more measurable indicators of your performance.
- Feeling powerless or not able to cope. For some, this feeling creates the headless-chicken effect: running around trying to do everything without accomplishing; and for others this can be completely paralysing, leading to the same outcome.
- Increased stress and anxiety. It can be easy to take on the worries of other people you care about, creating a more anxious state of being.
15 tips to help overcome overwhelm
Self-awareness is key in dealing with overwhelm as it allows you to protect yourself at an earlier stage or gain clarity if you're already feeling overwhelmed.
Here are some ways you can deal with overwhelm to bring back a sense of control and stability.
1. Acknowledge the feeling of overwhelm
It is important to acknowledge the feeling of overwhelm. Do this in a way that separates you from the feeling, for example, 'I see you, Overwhelm' rather than 'I am overwhelmed'. This separation gives you some space to tackle it.
2. Notice what drains you - what are your triggers?
Pay attention to the activities or people that negatively affect your state. If there are certain tasks that make you feel more drained than others, try to reduce the number of them. Or if being around certain people is exhausting, minimise the time you spend with them.
3. Check your perspective
Reality and perception are often two different things. It makes sense: we perceive the world through our own looking glass that has been shaped by previous experience, but how does this perception impact the life you're living now?
It's important to take an objective look at each situation to evaluate whether a shift in perspective is required.
Take a step back and answer the following questions:
A year from now, will the things that are worrying you now matter?
If you miss that relative's party, or don't make your daughter's favourite dinner, will you even remember?
Are the worries true?
If you're telling yourself that you must finish a project by tomorrow to keep the client happy, is that true or are you doing it to impress others?
What can you control?
Of all the worries/tasks that you have, which are the ones that you can do something about? They are your focus.
For all those that you have no control over, let them go. It's all you can do.
What are your expectations?
Notice what your expectations are and if they could be modified to remove some of the stress. These could be of ourselves, or how the situation should pan out, or how someone should behave.
4. Check your language
The language you use greatly affects how you feel.
Pay attention to the language you are using, especially to yourself, when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Are you berating yourself, saying things like 'I can't do this', or 'I'm failing'? Remove yourself from the emotion by focussing the language on the situation, not yourself.
For example, 'this situation is a challenge' or 'this isn't going as planned' are better ways to phrase the first two statements and don't question your ability to deal with it.
5. Focus on now
A lot of stress and anxiety comes about by focusing on either the past or the future, neither of which are in your control.
By focussing on this moment, you give yourself power to do something about the situation.
6. Set and maintain boundaries
Your personal boundaries are your guidelines for what you allow as acceptable behaviour. It’s where you draw the line, and by communicating these boundaries to others, you can maintain a healthier emotional wellbeing.
You only have so much time and energy so it’s important to set these boundaries in place and create space for yourself.
7. Learn to say 'No'
An important skill to learn is the ability to say no without feeling guilty.
Learning to say ‘no’ can free you. You aren’t responsible for everything and everyone, and saying ‘no’ to taking on all the tasks asked of you doesn’t mean that you are a bad person.
You have to look after yourself first and protect your own wellbeing in order to offer quality time and resources to others.
8. Sort your should/could list
Do you tell yourself you should clean the house, or you could clean the house?
‘Should’ implies an expectation that it’s your responsibility.
‘Could’ makes it optional, and is generally more likely the case.
Are you 'should'ing when you could be 'could'ing?
9. Make time for yourself
Arguably one of the hardest things to do when you feel overwhelmed is to take a break but studies show that even short breaks can improve your focus.
During the day, make sure you take a few minutes out every hour. Go for a short walk, make a cup of tea, breathe deeply for 5 minutes; anything to regroup and relax you.
Also make sure that you have a healthy work–life balance. Having time for yourself and the things that you enjoy doing gives you the headspace to tackle the more challenging situations when they arise.
‘Me time’ is not being selfish; it’s preserves and strengthens you.
10. Write it down
Writing everything down frees up headspace. When you’re not carrying everything around, you have capacity to pick something else up. That might be some creativity to help solve a problem, focus to get a job done, or sensitivity to help someone else. Give yourself some room to think.
Writing down a list also helps you to prioritise and creates a feeling of progress as you work through it.
11. Set your priorities
Not every task is created equal. What is truly important to you and what can wait?
A helpful tool you can use to prioritise your tasks is the Urgent Important Matrix. This simple 4 quadrant box allows you to see at a glance where to focus your efforts and which areas can either be dropped or delegated elsewhere.
12. Break down larger tasks and take action
Breaking larger tasks into smaller, more manageable ones creates stepping stones towards the end goal.
‘I need to create a successful business’ can be a very overwhelming thought, but ‘I need to write a business plan’ is an actionable task.
Break down your larger tasks into smaller, doable items.
The goal is to be able to take action. Overwhelm can paralyse you or send you into a whirlwind of unproductivity so doing something brings back order and confidence. Focus on one task at a time, working it to completion before moving on to the next.
And remember, finished is better than perfect.
13. Give yourself more time
Deadlines can be motivating but they can also cause stress. Allow yourself more time to complete each task where possible.
If you think something will take an hour, give yourself an hour and a half. The extra time might lead to new creativity or inspiration when solving a problem and leave you feeling like you’ve not only completed a task but also provided quality and value at the same time.
14. Ask for help
You wouldn’t think less of someone if they asked for help. So why not ask someone for help when you need it?
This also goes for the workplace. According to the UK Office of National Statistics mental health (including stress and anxiety) is the 4th highest reason for people taking time off work. If you need some help at work, speak to someone.
15. Delegate
Contrary to popular belief, if you want something doing you don’t have to do it yourself! If you’re in a position to delegate, then do so. It’s not up to you to make sure that the entire world keeps spinning so give those less important tasks to someone else.
Summary
Overwhelm can feel all-consuming but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a way out. Working on your self-awareness and learning to take care of yourself first means that you have the time, energy and focus to give back to others.
If you have any questions or would like to see how life coaching can help you work through overwhelm, please feel free to contact me using the FREE taster button on my website or email using the button below.
